Maté, Gabor, with Daniel Maté. The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture. New York: Avery, 2022.

Maté’s thesis is that Western medicine has assumed for a long time what is “normal,” and what is not. He contends that our physical and physiological lives are severely affected by what happens and what does not happen to us in our childhoods:
 
“Children, especially highly sensitive children, can be wounded in multiple ways: by bad things happening, yes, but also by good things not happening, such as their emotional needs for attunement not being met, or the experience of not being, seen and accepted, even by loving parents. Trauma of this kind does not require overt distress or misfortune . . . and can also lead to the pain of disconnection from the self, occurring as a result of core needs not being satisfied” (23).
 
This struck a chord (ha) with me concerning my childhood. My parents met my physical needs but didn’t have much sensitivity to my wishes to learn piano. I harped (ha ha) for four years on the topic until, at age ten, I was finally rewarded with lessons (and a $150 piano which I treasured). But their lack of interest in my “attunement” meant that they didn’t care much for my sensitivity as a musician, an artist, or human being. They kept trying to interest me in more “masculine” activities, meaning they did not accept me for who I was. It was a conditional “love,” if you want to call it that. My saving grace, through the years, thankfully, has been the help I received from three talented psychologists: one when I was twenty-four, one when I was in my fifties, and one I see currently in my seventies. Making myself more “loveable” to myself, I believe, made me less available to suffering major diseases or even middling chronic ones.
 
Maté’s contention is that most all disease is caused by mental or psychological stress that alters the body, making its autoimmune failure more likely one will suffer illness.
 
There is so much more that Dr. Maté offers to the reader in these 562 pages, but I do want to cite one statement he makes near the end of the book:
 
“At present there remains powerful resistance to trauma awareness on the part of the medical profession—albeit a resistance more subliminal than deliberate, more passive than active. In the dozens of interview I conducted with medical colleagues for this book,  including recent graduates, virtually one of them recalled being taught about the mind-body unity or the profusely documented relationship between, for example, trauma and mental illness or addictions—let alone the links between adversity and physical disease” (487).
 
I wish all adults in the world could read this book and be pushed to take care of their total health, not just the physical being (if that)—seek out doctors who do see a connection between the mental and physical body and treat their patients accordingly.

​Up Next:
​TUES: A Writer's Wit | Rod McKuen
WEDS: A Writer's Wit | John Boyne
THURS: A Writer's Wit | Lorene Scafaria
FRI: My Book World | Wright Thompson, The Barn: The Secret History of a Murder in Mississippi ​[Emmett Till]

McPhee, John. The Founding Fish. New York: Farrar, 2002.

This is the first I have read of the more than fifty books McPhee has published in his ninety-four years on earth, and I have to say it has been a revelation. I’m not one who fishes (maybe . . . for compliments, never the icky, slimy things that come out of the water), but I found this a fascinating history of the American shad. Its life cycle as both a saltwater and freshwater fish. Its boundless energy to overcome humanmade obstacles (dams for one). Its ability to rebound after a period of overfishing. Its delight as food (in spite of its many bones):
 
“When Alexander Wilson named this fish sapidissima in 1811, he was referring almost certainly to the nutty-buttery succulence of the main muscle, but the roe is the tongue of the buffalo, the tip of the asparagus, the cheek of the halibut, the marrow of the osso bucco” (295).
 
McPhee’s Appendix consists of nothing but recipes, one of which lists these ingredients:
 
      2 pounds shad
      1 pair roe
      1 tbs. chopped parsley
      Pepper, salt (if desired)
      1 tbs. butter
      Soft bread crumbs
      Clarified butter
      ½ cup sauterne
      1½ cup chopped mushrooms
      1 tsp. paprika (348)
 
Yet there are historic objectors to the art/craft/sport of fishing: “The poet Byron said it best: “[T]he art of angling [is] the cruelest, the coldest, and the stupidest of pretended sports” (313).
 
There you have it! McPhee covers both sides of the story, the equation, the diet!

​Up Next:
​TUES: A Writer's Wit | Ellen Glasgow
WEDS: A Writer's Wit | Barry Hannah
THURS: A Writer's Wit | Shirley MacLaine
FRI: My Book World | Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Sharot, Tali and Cass R. Sunstein. Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always There. New York: Simon, 2024.

“What is thrilling on Monday becomes boring by Friday. We habituate, which means that we respond less and less to stimuli that repeat” (2).
 
This statement is the authors’ thesis. What implications does it have? Just about everything. What if you eat your favorite ice cream, rocky road, every day? You eventually become habituated to it; you get tired of it. (Get used to seeing habituate because you’ll see it on nearly every page.) Eroticism can become numbed by repetition. The more sex you have with someone, the less exciting it becomes.
 
The chapter on “variety” is interesting, as well. University professors take sabbaticals every few years, not only to study but to be exposed to a variety of stimuli. They may travel out of town, out of the country. The authors also address the problems of social media, how habituation relates to the topic. They tackle misinformation and the environment. And they address society as a whole: discrimination, tyranny (fascism), and the law. An interesting and timely book.

Up Next:
TUES: A Writer's Wit | May Swenson
WEDS: A Writer's Wit | John F. Kennedy
THURS: A Writer's Wit | Kenneth Dixon
FRI: My Book World | Daniel Fitzgerald, Faded Dreams: More Ghost Towns of Kansas

Reeves, Richard V. Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It. Washington: Brookings, 2022.

Reeves’s thesis may be that while the liberation of women in the last fifty years has been a much-needed, even transformative, change in our society, men and boys have been left behind in their liberation or growth. He believes, for example, that boys should be red-shirted, in other words, begin school a year later. Many parents already do this when they see their sons are not ready. An added benefit is that when the boys reach their teen years, they’re in a class of young women whose maturity more closely matches their own. Reeves also includes in his research how black boys and men differ yet from white males and other ethnic groups in their experiences—thus expanding his work.
 
To solve the employment problem of boys and men he advocates more sophisticated tech programs to train boys (as well as girls) for tech jobs that are sorely needed, perhaps entire high schools, not just a single department. He suggests that we as a society make it acceptable for men to train for more HEAL professions (health, education, administration, and literacy), in the same way women and girls have increased their presence in STEM professions (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics). In the manner that women have made headway in achieving fifty percent occupation of STEM jobs and professions that used to be closed to women, men and boys should be encouraged and supported financially to enter HEAL professions. He cites research that suggests many boys perform better when they are tutored by male teachers.
 
There are those who will see this book as overlooking women and girls, but Reeves insists that that is not so. An apparent feminist in thought and deed (a somewhat stay-at-home-dad), he believes that progress should continue for women and girls. It’s just that he believes men, because of societal changes occurring in the last half-century, should be allowed to grow in areas that they weren’t previously. And he offers an entire chapter on how these new roles for men may be accomplished. The task will take considerable resources, both financial and human, but if we don’t begin by considering the ideas put forth by our scholars, where else can we begin, and how do we expect to progress as a civilization?

Coming Next:
TUES: A Writer's Wit | Margaret Hill McCarter
WEDS: A Writer's Wit | Reza Aslan
THURS: A Writer's Wit | Anna Olson
FRI: My Book World | Andrew Sean Greer, Less Is Lost

Perry, Bruce D. and Oprah Winfrey. What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. New York: Flatiron, 2021.

As the subtitle suggests, Perry and Winfrey exchange ideas concerning childhood trauma. Her words are represented by a pale blue font, and his are in black, making the dialogue more obvious. I’ve read other books about how childhood trauma affects adults in later life, if the trauma is not dealt with in a satisfactory way. I know from my own life that this is true. But this book takes my understanding a bit farther. I now come to realize that the child is both vulnerable to trauma but, under the right circumstances (therapeutic), also resilient.

​Dr. Perry’s expertise in neuroscience helps expand our understanding of how the brain works. Therapy can help a traumatized child or adult, but the therapist must meet the child at his or her level of brain development. Perry tells the story of one boy whose brain is still functioning at the brainstem level, but he’s older than that chronologically. Oprah courageously shares with readers her lifelong struggle to come to terms with abuse she suffered as a young child. Both writers brought me to tears at several times throughout the book. Oprah tells a story of when she is on a movie set, and the director shoots a scene in which she must tuck in a child at night. They must do the take several times, because Oprah keeps going at the situation as if she’s making the bed. The director must finally demonstrate what he means, and Oprah realizes no one ever tucked her in as a child. She had no idea how to do it.

The book’s closure involves Oprah sharing with readers how she finally forgives her mother and also resolves other issues on the woman’s deathbed. We all feel the sense of relief and catharsis that Winfrey feels. She had actually been on her way back to California, when she realized she must return to her mother and end things properly. A real act of courage, which, in reading this book, may help others to do the same. When we stop asking “What’s wrong with you?” and instead ask, “What happened to you?” we, as a society, may be in a better position to help our children and adult children to cope with their lives. I don’t say this often: a must read.

NEXT FRIDAY: My Book World | Jeanine Cummins's American Dirt--An Oprah Book Club Recipient

Nakazawa, Donna Jackson. Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal. New York: Simon, 2015.



This important book states its expressed purpose early in the introduction:

​Author Nakazawa spends the entire book demonstrating how Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) can and often do, depending on the individual, have detrimental effects on a child’s physiology—not just his or her emotional or psychological well-being. In fact, the research she sites shows that such havoc can also damage one’s DNA. And in so doing, that broken DNA can be passed along to one’s children—setting up a chain of continuing abuse by which one damaged adult injures his or her own children and so on. The author makes clear that while ACEs are similar to PTSD, they are not exactly the same. Adverse events happening to the adult brain have a different effect than the ones that happen to the child’s brain, particularly if very young.
 
There are a number of compelling aspects to Nakazawa’s book. One, she brings to light a large number of case studies to make her point and follows them throughout. You begin to hear about “Kat” in the beginning and you learn in the end how her life improves. Two, the author cites a great deal of cutting-edge research on the topic. For example, studies show that women, by a significant percentage, who consult a doctor concerning their history of ailments are dismissed by male doctors as being flaky or hysterical (common treatment throughout history). And finally, the author devotes an entire section of the book to treatments, because with appropriate care and therapy, the brain, which is plastic, can be retrained. Individuals can and do recover from Adverse Childhood Experiences. I highly recommend this book to be your first if you are exploring the topic.

NEXT FRIDAY: My Book World | TBD