At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one. 
​George S. Kaufman
Playwright: You Can't Take It with You
Born November 16, 1889

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.
​Wendy Wasserstein
Playwright, The Heidi Chronicles
​Born October 18, 1950

If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies.
​Elmer Rice
Playwright of ​The Adding Machine
​Born September 28, 1892

I have no college education; I taught myself how to write. If you want it badly enough, you can have it. You can walk into any room and convince the person that you know what you're doing.
​Erin Foster
​Produced and Starred in Barely Famous TV Series
​Born August 23, 1982

All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.
​August Wilson
Playwright, Fences
​Born April 27, 1945

Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.
​Paul Reiser
Author of Familyhood 
Born March 30, 1957

A WRITER'S WIT
If birds will abandon their young rather than miss the moment to begin a flight of thousands of miles, what migratory signals might our own cells still hold?
​Gloria Steinem
Author of My Life on the Road
Born March 25, 1934

One time, my mom told us, “No TV.” It was 3 P.M., and I was sneaking it in. She put her hand on the back of the TV to see if it was warm, and it was. So she pulled the cord out of the wall, opened the second-floor window, and just threw it out the window.
​Akiva Schaffer
Director of Michael Bolton's Big, Sexy Valentine's Day Special
Born December 1, 1977

Coughing in the theater is not a respiratory ailment. It is a criticism.
​Alan Jay Lerner
Author of My Fair Lady
Born August 31, 1918

Every writer has to make an emotional journey from artist sitting in attic to being part of a business. The writer of a film is like Tinkerbell. You are only there because people believe in you. The moment they don’t, because you’re a pain the arse, you’ve lost.
​Julian Fellowes
Author of Belgravia
Born August, 17, 1949

In itself it is nothing. Nothing but a book: parchment, colouring, ink. Yet the most perishable material is at the same time the most durable substance in the world . . .
​Lion Feuchtwanger
Author of The Oppermanns
Born July 7, 1884

I make no conscious effort to be tough, or hard-boiled, or grim, or any of the things I am usually called.
​James M. Cain
Author of The Postman Always Rings Twice
Born July 1, 1892

I was not raised to be someone's wife. I was raised so that things should be evenly distributed.
​Joie Lee
Author of Crooklyn
Born June 22, 1962

Children see things very well sometimes—and idealists even better.
​Lorraine Hansberry
Author of To Be Young, Gifted and Black
Born May 19, 1930

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.
​Patrick Dennis
Author of Auntie Mame
Born May 18, 1921

A WRITER'S WIT
What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many?
Angela Carter
Author of Angela Carter’s Book of Fairy Tales
Born May 7, 1940

Theatre's great. It's such an act of faith. It's a wonderful art form where you suspend disbelief for a couple of hours. It's a lovely art form because the actors and the audience are alive and in the room at the same time together. That's why I love the theatre.
​Israel Horovitz
Author of Park Your Car in Harvard Yard
Born March 31, 1939

Too much thought is bad for the soul, for art, and for crime. It is also a sign of middle age.
​Patrick Hamilton
Author of The Midnight Bell
Born March 17, 1904

If you can't write your idea on the back of my calling card, you don't have a clear idea.
​David Belasco
Born July 25, 1853

There are two kinds of marriages—where the husband quotes the wife and where the wife quotes the husband.
​Clifford Odets
Born July 18, 1906

I find writing very difficult. It's hard and it hurts sometimes, and it's scary because of the fear of failure and the very unpleasant feeling that you may have reached the limit of your abilities.
​Tony Kushner
Born July 16, 1956